


I Got Nothing But You On My Mind

by scarletolsen



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 12:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19317913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletolsen/pseuds/scarletolsen
Summary: Ben Mitchell hasn't been able to stop thinking about Callum Highway since that stolen kiss in the park. Seeing him with Whitney is slowly eating away at him and Callum shows no sign of letting up this facade. He comes to the conclusion that desperate times call for desperate measures. Enter Keanu Taylor, Albert Square's resident eye candy and the perfect candidate for Ben’s plan to make Callum jealous. In the end, Ben gets a whole lot more than he bargained for.





	I Got Nothing But You On My Mind

Ben once again finds his gaze drifting to Callum and Whitney from across the bar. The beer in his belly starts turning at the way Callum leans in close to whisper something in her ear. He forces himself to tear his eyes away, his fingers unconsciously tightening around his glass until his knuckles turn white. There was no point in staring at them, all it did was give Ben a headache and a sick feeling in his stomach. It seemed nothing he did got through to Callum since that night in the park where everything magically aligned in a moment of pure ecstasy.

Ben had even resorted to purposefully going jogging in the mornings in the hopes of running into him but all he got was Callum and Whitney parading their ‘love’ in front of the whole Square. He couldn’t stop himself from yelling “Get a room!” and when that failed to get a rise or any sort of reaction he was hoping for out of Callum, he shot him what he hoped was a sexy wink. At first, Callum just stared at him in exasperation but then a surge of warmth flowed through Ben when he caught the glimpse of a fond smile teasing the edges of Callum’s mouth.

That was when he allowed himself to believe there was hope after all. Maybe he had sparked in Callum a tiny flicker of the fire that was constantly raging inside him. Ben still remembered the way Callum had gripped him so tight during their first kiss that he could feel Callum’s desire pushing against his thigh. He knew Callum wanted him and was just too scared of the repercussions to admit it.

Looking at him now, still trying to keep up the foolish charade that he was in love with Whitney, something clicked in Ben’s mind. He would have to take drastic action to make Callum realise he was making a mistake. Maybe if he saw Ben with someone else, if he had to see them together right in front of him where he couldn’t ignore it, he would finally be jolted out of this fictional reality he had created. Ben would be satisfied with just seeing the jealousy on Callum’s face at the sight of him with another man. He wanted to feel something, _anything_ other than this boiling rage and crushing disappointment. He didn’t really think anything could get Callum to admit his true feelings but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try.

Steeled with a new sense of purpose, Ben rises sharply from his stool. The loud scraping sound as it drags across the floor turns the heads of both Callum and Whitney. She gives him a quizzical look but Ben’s eyes slide straight to Callum, who meets his gaze with such an intense stare that he feels his knees sway. He pitches forward, hoping it comes across as nothing more than a drunken stumble. He braces himself on the bar and looks up to see Callum and Whitney still watching him. The look of disapproval in Callum’s eyes makes his gut cramp but he grits his teeth and forces himself to smile, raising his empty glass in a mock toast. “Catch you later, lovebirds.” Whitney beams at him, calling out a polite “See ya, Ben!”. She turns to Callum and squeezes his arm but all he does is give Ben a tight smile more akin to a grimace. Ben resists the urge to smash his glass against the bar and instead walks out of the pub, trying not to rip the door off its hinges in his anger. Once outside, he sends off a quick text to Keanu, asking him to meet in the café. Keanu’s reply is almost instant.

 _‘sure, meet you there in 5’_.

With a little smile to himself, Ben pockets his phone and heads over there. He goes up to the counter and asks Marie for two teas when she’s ready. He sits down in one of the corner booths and waits for Keanu, drumming his fingers against the table to combat a sudden bout of nerves. The longer Ben sits there, the more he begins to question this plan of his and the less sure he is that he wants to go through with it. Ben’s mental deliberations are cut short however by Keanu walking into the café. He spots Ben and walks straight over, settling himself down opposite him. “You alright, mate? You looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something there”.

Ben lifts his gaze to find Keanu watching him with curious, sincere eyes and he tries for a smile. Ben liked Keanu well enough and there was no denying his attractiveness. He often found himself admiring Keanu’s good looks but his feelings towards the man didn’t go any deeper than surface level. He decides to cut straight to the chase. “Yeah, uh, I was hopin’ I could ask you a favour”. At that moment, Marie comes over with the teas and sets them down in front of the two men, giving Ben a few seconds to summon his quickly diminishing courage. “Oh yeah?” asks Keanu, reaching for his mug and bringing it to his lips to take a sip. Ben draws in a deep breath and meets Keanu’s gaze. “It’s gonna sound a bit strange but hear me out. See, there’s this guy that I fancy and I know he likes me too but the problem is, he’s so far into the closet he’s stuck in Narnia.”

Keanu lets out a throaty chuckle and Ben feels himself relax, as he’s never quite sure if people will be comfortable with him talking about other men in this way. “So, this is where you come in. All you’d have to do is come out with me to the Vic while he’s there to make him jealous. Mind you, I ain’t expecting you to kiss me or nothin’. I know you’re having a baby with my sister and I do have _some_ boundaries”. Ben smiles, his lips easily curving into his trademark lazy smirk in spite of the anxiety twisting his gut. Keanu appears to mull this over, setting down his mug and exhaling through puffed out cheeks. “You must really like this fella then”.

Ben feels himself blush as he looks down at his untouched mug of tea and silently curses his body for betraying him. He didn't like the fact that he had fallen so hard for Callum Highway that he was willing to go to these kind of lengths just to get him to pay attention. Keanu must have seen his answer written across his face because he didn’t make Ben spell it out for him. “Ok, I’ll do it. Having a few beers with you in the Vic doesn’t sound so bad”. Ben’s head jerks up and he lets out the breath he’s been holding, the tension finally leaving his body. “Listen, Ben. I really do hope things work out between you and this bloke. You deserve to be happy”. Ben feels his cheeks grow inexplicably warmer at that unexpected sentiment and he gives Keanu a genuine smile. “Cheers, Keanu. You’re a good man”.

The next day Ben and Keanu head over to the Vic after they both get off work. As soon as he enters the pub, Ben scans the sea of faces for Callum. His heart stutters in his chest when he locks eyes with him. Callum’s sitting at the bar, having a conversation with Mick. He’s laughing at something Mick just said but the humour drains from his face when he sees Ben walk in with Keanu. Ben’s pulse spikes as he takes in the sight of Callum in his black work suit, which shouldn’t really have this effect on him given how many times he’s seen Callum wearing it. He quickly looks away and tugs at Keanu’s arm, nodding his head towards one of the booths at the front. “You sit down and I’ll go get the first round in”.

Keanu nods and sits down facing the windows. Ben strolls up to the bar and greets Mick warmly. “Alright, Mick? I’ll ‘ave two pints of your finest beer please”. He gives Mick his signature carefree grin while shooting a sidelong glance at Callum. The muscles in Callum’s jaw jump but he stares resolutely down into his drink as though it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. “Coming right up” Mick replies cheerily, going to fill two glasses from under the beer tap. He places them on the bar and Ben flashes him a grateful smile, grabbing them and turning away without another word or look at Callum.

Ben brings the drinks over and mentally prepares himself for having to pretend like he wants nothing more than to be there with Keanu. It isn’t so hard in the end, seeing as how Ben already had to act like he wasn’t falling apart every second of every day. Every time he laughs too loudly at something Keanu says or leans in closer to whisper in his ear, he sneaks a glance over at Callum and each time his heart pounds at the look of pure, undisguised jealousy burning in Callum’s eyes. When Callum finally gets up to head for the bathroom with a dark expression shrouding his face, Ben sits back and watches him go. Keanu doesn’t seem to notice the change in his demeanour, already slightly too drunk to remember why they were even out in the first place.

After a few more painstaking minutes, Ben excuses himself and walks into the bathroom to find Callum standing in front of the sink with his head bent down, fingers gripping the sides of the bowl and his back heaving with each rapid breath. Ben shifts his attention to the reflection of Callum’s face in the mirror and his heart squeezes at the way Callum’s eyes are shut so tight that the crease between his eyebrows is visible, like he's desperately trying to block out the image of Ben with someone else. At the sound of the door closing, Callum’s eyes snap open and he lifts his head to meet Ben’s stare through the mirror. His breathing appears to stop all together and he looks away, fixing his gaze on the wall in front of him. “What d’you want?” he asks, pain evident in his voice. Ben swallows, his stomach sinking to the floor. He thought he wanted this but the reality of it was that he couldn’t stand the sight of Callum hurting for any reason. “Nothing. I should get back”. Ben moves to leave but stops when he hears Callum call out “Wait! Just... tell me you’re not with him.”

Ben turns back to find Callum facing him, his eyes bright with emotion. Ben folds his arms across his chest, trying to ignore the stab of guilt piercing his heart. “What’s it to you if I am?” Ben tries to keep his tone light and mocking but it comes out sounding like a broken plea. Callum shakes his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Look, I know it ain’t any of my business who you’re out with. But I couldn’t keep sitting there watching the two of ya”. Ben takes a shaky breath and steps into Callum’s space, his heart soaring when Callum doesn’t back away. “And why’s that then?” Ben asks in a low whisper, his eyes drawn to the way Callum’s pulse is throbbing beneath his throat. “You know why” answers Callum, his gaze drifting down Ben’s face to rest on his lips. “No, I don’t think I do. Why don’t you tell me?” Ben taunts, that exquisite fire kindling in his belly.

Callum almost looks like he’s going to bolt again but then his eyes soften and his shoulders slump as if a great weight has been lifted off him. “I can’t sleep. I can’t eat and it’s all because I’m sick to my stomach of living this lie. Whitney’s such a great girl but being with her just ain’t the same as when I’m with you. Ben, you’re all I think about. It scares me how much I want ya”. At that admission, Ben feels a warm glow radiate through his body and the prickling of tears behind his eyes. He reaches up to gently cup Callum’s cheek and his eyes flutter closed at Ben’s touch. “You already have me”, Ben assures him. Callum’s eyes slowly drift open and he brings his hand up to softly brush back Ben’s hair in an almost unconscious gesture. “But I can’t be with ya the way that I want to. You deserve someone who ain’t afraid to call you his boyfriend or kiss ya in front of the whole Square.” Ben smiles sadly and leans into Callum’s touch like a cat rubbing against a leg. “I don’t care about any o’ that. I’ll have you any way I can get ya. Just promise me you won’t shut me out again”. Callum gives a firm shake of his head, stroking a thumb across Ben’s cheek. “I won’t”.

Ben opens his mouth to reply but Callum is already leaning in to close the remaining distance between them. Ben barely has time to take a breath before Callum's lips capture his and he kisses him like he’s been starving for his taste. Ben staggers back into the wall from the sheer force of it, moaning into Callum’s mouth and holding the back of the neck. They break away panting and Callum starts dotting light kisses along Ben’s jaw until he reaches his ear. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed ya” he whispers, dropping his head into Ben’s shoulder and inhaling deeply. Ben feels something bloom like a flower inside his chest at those words. He places his hand on Callum’s cheek, gently lifting his face until they are eye to eye. “Don’t go all soft on me, Highway.”

Ben lifts one side of his mouth up higher into his usual cheeky smirk but soon sobers when he sees the bashful, endearing expression on Callum’s face. He had missed that look more than he cared to admit. “Come here” Ben says, pulling Callum in for another kiss. He feels Callum instantly melt against him and the feel of his body against Ben’s makes his stomach quiver. Callum reluctantly pulls away and rests his forehead against Ben’s. “I’m gonna end things with Whit. Just give me tonight to break it to her and then I’ll come meet ya when it’s over”. Ben’s breath catches in his throat at how easily Callum is willing to dismantle his engagement. He’s suddenly hit with an intense emotion, not quite love yet but something close to it. He certainly hasn’t felt anything like this since Paul and he wants to wrap his arms around it and protect it with his life, including the man standing in front of him. Ben slips his arms around Callum’s waist, smiling at the way Callum’s heart is beating hard and fast against his. “I’ll be waiting”.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my first ever fic! ben and callum have completely stolen my heart and I loved writing them.  
> the title is a lyric from the song ‘grace’ by lewis capaldi which i think is just perfect for them.
> 
> this fic was inspired by an excellent prompt sent to me on my tumblr (pastthepointofbreaking) by user wholocked1290. I really hope you enjoy it! <3


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